4--5-10 "Where to Begin?"

General conference was a big blessing this weekend. My favorite talks include: Sister Beck on Saturday morning. Wow! She knows how to testify of the worth of women while still directing them to change. I was so worried that she was going to be released, but thankfully she was not. Saturday afternoon was an amazing session, with Elder Bednar and Elder Holland back to back. I was so excited when I knew I was going to hear from Elder Holland. That talk was quintessentially him. He starts off with what sounds like a cute story, only to drop the bomb two minutes later: Pornography and Lust! But, in his gifted way, he treats it with precision and care, not beating around the bush, but not missing any opportunity to testify of the atonement. Nevertheless, I think my favorite talks were from the Sunday morning session, President Uchtdorf and Elder Scott. President Uchtdorf has been building his talks from the last several conferences into each other. Last spring he talked about being a disciple, and in the fall he talked about the love of God, so what he spoke about this time comes directly from those two previous subjects. It was almost like how being a disciple helps us feel and show the love of God. I agree, Dad. That was very powerful when he testified that everyone is equal and a VIP in God's eyes. The world tries so hard to make us forget that. All too often I do. Elder Scott's testimony of the Atonement was so pure. I cannot wait to read his words again. And Mom, I think the talk you liked from Sunday afternoon was an Elder Martino. The one with the baseball story. We were well taken care of yesterday, having both a lunch and a dinner, so we got two Easter feasts: ham, deviled eggs, rolls, asparagus, green beans, corn, mashed potatoes. All the fixins. Easter is the best because it means ham. Sorry to hear you didn't get a Dove egg. They were definitely enjoyed on our end.

Now for the big news: I'll have you know that I guessed exactly where he was going when I read Mom's subject line. Connecticut! He'll be great. He'll do so much good there. He'll be an amazing missionary. I'm so excited and proud of him. It hardly seems like it was almost a year ago when I was opening my mission call and he was there to watch. I would say I wish I could have been there, but I know I need to be here. Even though this week feels like one of the hardest on my mission, and it's only going to get harder. Because even though I was feeling distressed and downtrodden when I came to e-mail this morning, every member of the family sent me words of encouragement this week which put me in my place and made me realize how blessed I am even to have this opportunity. When I first got RA, I was sure that meant I would never get this chance. So I was glad when I got to be a branch missionary instead. But not that it's not instead but in-addition-to, it's the hardest thing I've ever done, but President Hansen keeps telling me the Lord is preparing me for future opportunities. And because I have faith in the future, I'll keep pushing ahead. Thanks for everything.

Cassidy, you are just the best concert-goer ever. You almost touched Jonathan Jones!?! That's just as good as when that guy from Camera Can't Lie was all singing to you and stuff. I'm SO GLAD you heard Please Shine. Again, I'd say "I wish I were there" but I know I will be one day. And that day is always coming nearer. It'll be so hard when I have to give up being a missionary. Yes, life will probably seem easier, and time will be my own again, but I have such a potential to make a difference and come outside of myself while serving in this calling. I'll never really get that again. And I think that's what's worrying me about this area. I'm afraid I'm not helping anyone but myself. And this is so not about me. I came on this mission to forget about myself, but with every new challenge it seems I only become more selfish.

I'm glad you all had fun bowling for Dad's birthday. Did you get the card I sent? I know you also had fun and great food in Mackay. Tell Aunt Ila hello for me.

Yes, I did get the medical debit card. My next appointment is on tax day, April 15. Speaking of which, did you get my taxes taken care of? Do I need to sign them or anything? And did you include me in your census report? We weren't really sure what to do, so I still have the thing if you didn't include me. I just want to make sure I get counted.

Mom, could you do some digging for me? Is Ashley Crockett still on her mission? Could you send me her address, whether or not she is? I've been thinking about her lately and what a good example she is to me, hoping she is doing well. And I'd like to send Elder Sorensen in Japan some greetings, knowing he's almost been out for year. No rush. I just figure at least I know I'm good at writing letters, and that's something that gets me thinking outside myself.

Love,
Sister Sorensen