I can hardly believe it, but today marks eleven months since I parted with y'all at the Missionary Training Center. It doesn't really feel like it was all that long ago. And in the eternal scheme of things, it really wasn't. Thank goodness for time, which keeps everything from happening all at once.
We got a little bit of sad news this week. One of the members of the ward passed away. He was an older gentleman, basically homebound due to major illnesses and general deterioration of the body. We'd visited him mostly at the hospital as he made several trips in and out of there over the last six months or so. I like to hope we were a strength to him, because I know what a blessing he was to us. Just knowing he would be there to listen to our testimonies and discuss the gospel kept our spirits going through many hard days and gave me a sense of purpose. I know the Lord wanted our paths to cross. We were able to attend his funeral on Saturday morning. I'll always remember his slow Texas drawl, his gravelly voice, and his stubborn but optimistic personality. He always complimented my handshake, so apparently I do have a nice, firm one.
On a brighter note, we had a wonderful zone conference this week. President Hansen's remarks were exactly what I needed to hear. He made it clear that people and not numbers are the important things. I've been struggling with that a lot, having been in an area where numbers have been low for a while. I have this tendency to blame it all on myself, mistakenly thinking that if I blame it all on me, I can then fix it all by fixing myself. That's not how it works. Actually, his remarks focused mostly on charity and love. In the end, I hope that's what I've given this area. We were driving somewhere yesterday, and I started pointing out certain places I remember and people I remember talking to while tracting. Even those who didn't really want to hear the message of the restoration. Sister Mullins looked at me and said, "You really do know a lot about this area." And it was like a light went on in my mind. There are some people in Tomball that I only talked to once, but I still remember them and small details about their life. Because I love them, hopefully. And because I recognize that God does know and love them, intimately. He knows all the details. In striving to put myself out there every day, I have gained just a glimpse into that kind of love which God has for these people. Even when they reject the fulness of truth He offers them. Especially then, because I've caught only glimpses and I wish I could understand it more and better and then maybe I'd be able to help them connect to the gospel. Oh, my heart just aches that I haven't been able to see many people accept the fulness of the gospel while I've been here. But even as I write this, I can feel the Spirit whispering to me that at some future day I'll meet some of these people again, when both of our memories are more agile. And then we will rejoice together in God's perfect timing. I imagine the same thing will happen with Charles Marshall. I don't know if he remembers me, but I know that we will meet again in the celestial kingdom, and there we will remember one another and rejoice in the Savior who unites and reunites us all.
Sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent like that. My feelings are just very near the surface lately. Things that I've been holding in I'm no longer holding in. Challenges that I felt like I should deal with alone are becoming challenges I'm willing to share with others, especially with God. I've been bouncing back and forth between faith and fear for a long time now. But I'm preparing myself to entirely turn my back on fear by trying to remember the things I just told you. Love. Love. Love for these people.
Okay, I love the picture of Eli jumping off the diving board. He is amazing. And full of courage. I'll use him as an inspiration, too. I remember when he used to be afraid of putting his face underwater. Now, apparently he can swim. What a man! Thanks, also for the picture of our soon to be missionary and his friends. He's sure to do amazing. I loved the story from Jason's talk. Sacrifice for someone you love really isn't a sacrifice at all.
Sorry to hear you had a wet weekend. Yesterday at our dinner appointment they were saying Idaho Falls had had snow. Not jealous. Yesterday it was about 94 degress all day. You're probably not jealous of that, either. Tell the sister missionaries in Mackay hello and stay dry. Of course, some of the best times I have had are tracting in the mud and rain, as long as you know where you can go to get dry. Thanks for giving them a ride. I'm sure they appreciated it more than they could express. I know members do so much for us. I don't know where we would be without them.
I did end up going to get a second opinion last week. Sister Tetreault thinks this doctor is much better. We'll stick with him as long as I'm here. Who knows how long that will be.
Love you all, miss you a little, but knowing the return is coming sooner than I think,
Sister Whitney Mikell Sorensen, the shining one
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