6-14-10 "Tearin' Up My Heart"

While sitting here, I just glanced over and noticed that I am right next to the literature section of the Tomball College Library. I also realized they only have three or four shelves of it. Not enough. Travesty. Just thought I'd share that observation with you.

This morning, as we were about to leave the apartment, I looked in the mirror and got the most scathingly brilliant idea. When I return from my mission, I can keep wearing my missionary outfits for an unspecified period of time, long enough for my friends or family to nominate me for "What Not to Wear." That way, I will be able to get an amazing new wardrobe for free, a great haircut from Nick Arojo, and insulted on national television. Actually, I think I look cute today. But, sister missionary cute, not regular, 22-year-old college student cute. But the day when I will is not far off. I just thought it was a clever idea. But I don't actually think I would be able to part with some of these clothes. I LOVE, for instance, that grey skirt you sent me for my birthday. I'm wearing it right now.

And I couldn't be happier. Well, I'm not sure if you guessed from the subject line or not, but the day has finally come. I am going to be leaving Tomball and going to Katy, Texas, to once again be companions with Sister Smith. Actually, I'm very excited and not exactly nervous, but, in the immortal words of 'NSYNC: "It's tearin' up my heart" to leave Tomball. I could not sleep at all on Saturday night after I got the news. I cried on the way to church yesterday. I cried when I told the ward mission leader I was leaving. He actually got choked up a little bit, too. If anyone has been my almost father in this ward, it's Brother Roye. He and Sister Roye only have sons, but I think somehow they're getting a little taste of having daughters through having all the sister missionaries around. Plus, he said some of the nicest, most sincere things anyone has ever said to me. He told me he really appreciated my calm and patient influence on the ward and the work and the area and his family. He said I have a quiet, peaceful demeanor, and that he knows I have had an impact on this area, even if I can't see what it was. If I hadn't been crying before he started saying all those nice things, I certainly would have been afterward. Somehow I held it together when I told Sis. Tetreault I was leaving. She made the insightful comment, "Well, somebody needs you there." And I know she's right. In the end, I know this is the right thing and the exact right time. Anytime before this would have been too soon, and anytime after this would be too late, but I couldn't have known that until I actually reached this moment. And it really is tearin' up my heart to leave. I know I've said it before, but this area has become my hometown in Texas. Leaving here is in some ways harder than leaving my real hometown, because I'm not sure when I'll get back here. Actually, it was kind of poetic to have yesterday be my last Sunday here, first because it was a missionary going-away for the bishop's son. All the speakers kept talking about how some missionaries don't know what an impact they have. One of the members of the ward, a man who joined the church a year and a half ago with his wife said this: "I've never served a mission but I've served a lot of missionaries. Dinner." And then he said, "Many of the missionaries I met through the years have no idea where I am today. But they did make an impact on me." Sister Mullins just kept looking at me the whole time, with a friendly look of, "See, God's nicely saying, 'I told you so.' " Which He did. But nicely. Plus, since next Sunday is Father's day, it'll have been exactly one year since I gave my own going-away talk. I can hardly believe it. I hope I can give as much in Katy as I've given here. Because I think I gave more than I originally realized. The slogan for Tomball is "Hometown with Heart." It's certainly got mine. I even keep thinking I could sing, "I left my heart, in Tomball, Texas." It has just the right number of syllables.

Okay, enough of that. But I'll have you know I didn't cry once while writing it. Maybe I'm still kind of in denial, but I can't entirely be. For instance, I already sent a box of stuff to the house from me. Mostly just letters and trinkets I've collected but won't have room to transport with me. Watch for it. You can open it if you want.

Next item of business. New Year's. About a month ago, we were at the Tetreault's house, and we figured out that they will be coming to Idaho in late December to drop off their son at BYU-Idaho. I got all ecstatic and said, "You can come and see me at my house and meet my family!" She got very excited, too. But, she also says I should go through the formality of making sure it's okay with y'all that they come and see us. Even though I keep assuring her that they are always welcome, and not only welcome but encouraged to stop by and stay for a while. Seriously, I think knowing that I will have a chance to see them again, especially in my own neck of the world, is what makes parting from them now not such a big hurt. So, you can say no if you want to, but I know you well enough to know that you want to say yes. And will. So her next question is, are snow chains outlawed in Idaho? She heard they were, but I have no idea. E-mail her and let her know.

So, what did I do with my last week in Tomball? Actually, Sister Mullins has been sick since Wednesday, so I actually spent most of in in the apartment, trying not to go crazy with only the scriptures and Ensigns as reading material. If I had known I was leaving, I could have been packing, but at least part of my heart was holding out on staying a little while longer, so I couldn't do it. I'm not worried; everything will fit. But, amid all my pondering time this week, I realized something amazing. "P.S." as in post script on a letter or an e-mail could also stand for "Please Shine." So, from now on, I will not close a letter or an e-mail without writing, "P.S. Please Shine." Or even "Please Shine. I love you." Now that's poetic.

Eli, you really are the best little brother ever. I can't believe you considered waiting all that time to see Toy Story 3 with me instead of without me. I would never expect you to wait that long. But you really love me, and I want you to know I really love you. The moster. More. To infinity (or eternity, whichever comes first) and beyond. I will definitely be looking for ways to use those Toy Story quotes, and more, this week. Just. For. You. Also, this week while I was in the apartment, I randomly thought of one of my favorite Home Alone quotes. "When I grow up and get married, I'm livin' alone!" Good luck on that one, Kevin, although with the way MaCauly (sp? case in point, why you should not give your children weird names) Culkin looks now...no, don't write that Sister Sorensen. That's cruel. You are a representative of Jesus Christ and he is a child of God. But, when I grow up and get married, I probably won't be living alone. Also, the image of Eli doing the flying crane is permanently imprinted on my mind. I cannot wait to see it live, so keep practicing, Buddy. And remember, "Johnny, you're a cream puff." If I remember correctly, I kind of like the love story in Karate Kid 2 better, but it also has that Peter Cetera love song, something about castles and knights. Maybe I'm remembering another movie. Best of luck with baseball, and watch out for those banana peels. They're killer.

Thanks for the lilacs. They look amazing! I can almost smell them.

Love,

Sister Whitney Mikell Sorensen

P.S. Please Shine!

P.P.S. I hope this letter has more of my long missing pizzaz. I think it's back.

P.P.P.S. Tell the Davis family hello from me, and thanks for the compliments. I actually, weirdly enough, had a dream with Michael Davis in it this week. I was at some house with some of the missionaries from here and him and everyone was getting ready to go to the temple. ??? Who knows what that means.